


Kachow

by tsumugiaoba



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, also moon is cool, hello welcome to the bad text crack, this was written at 1am it aint serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8896969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumugiaoba/pseuds/tsumugiaoba
Summary: honestly the title is already a pretty good indicator of how serious this fic is: not at all lmao literally dont expect the characters to be in character for the most part because this is my sleep deprived brain at 1am





	1. this chapter has a title too now !! it's: the fateful day where THE POKÉSHIT STARTED

**Author's Note:**

> aloha everyone! im here to present this fandoms text crack fic enjoy while u can, also the characters are like aged up to at least 18-20 years old ok
> 
>  
> 
> \----
> 
> smolflower: Lillie
> 
> championmoon: Moon
> 
> Xx_glad1on_xX: Gladion
> 
> malasadasfordays: Hau 
> 
> \----
> 
> WARNING THIS FIC HAS LIKE SO MUCH BULLSHIT SO IT AINT PG 13 OK JUST WARNING YALL

[championmoon, malasadasfordays, smolflower and Xx_glad1on_xX added to the group chat : aloha! idiots]

 

championmoon: hello fellow underlings

smolflower: Moon, I made this chat so we could keep in touch please.

malasadasfordays: OOOH A GROUP CHAT IS GLADION HERE TOO

Xx_glad1on_xX: unfortunately yes

championmoon: what's up with the cringey emo thing gladion

Xx_glad1on_xX: look i put this in when i was 15 do you think i made good decisions when I was 15

malasadasfordays: WELL,,, YOU STARTED DATING ME THATS A GOOD DECISION!!!! :D

Xx_glad1on_xX: im starting to regret that more and more

malasadasfordays: :(

Xx_glad1on_xX: SHIT I DIDNT MEAN THAT HAU DONT BE SAD ILY OK

malasadasfordays: :D!!

smolflower; Brother are you okay ??

championmoon: such sap

malasadasfordays: moon don't talk shit remember when you sent me a picture of lillie and the only message was "!!!!!!!!!!!!!imsogayforherilovehershesmysunshine"

Xx_glad1on_xX: ah he is learning well

championmoon: i swear to fuck gladion don't turn our hau into a monstrosity that KNOWS HOW TO HUMILIATE PEOPLE. BE ASHAMED, GLADION

malasadasfordays: IM SORRY DID I HUMILIATE YOU IM SO SO SORRY HOW COULD I DO THIS TO MY BRO

championmoon: good ol' Hau is back boii 

smolflower: Moon.

championmoon: what do you need, captor of my heart ??

Xx_glad1on_xX: and me and Hau are the saps here,,,right 

malasadasfordays: HEY GLADION WHY DO YOU STILL WEAR BLACK SO MUCH IF UR NO LONGER IN YOUR SCENE PHASE

Xx_glad1on_xX: cant be assed to buy new shit lmao + black is cool i guess

smolflower: Hau you know there's a thing called not typing in all caps all the time or communicating with an obscure smiley language that only my brother seems to understand 

championmoon: is there a smiley code for "send nudes"

Xx_glad1on_xX: WHAT THE FUCK MOON

championmoon: or "fuck me"

malasadasfordays: WHY WOULD WE NEED THAT

malasadasfordays: WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE

Xx_glad1on_xX: THATS BESIDES THE POINT THE QUESTION IS WHAT THE FUCK MOON WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

smolflower: This is my second life trial: dealing with the champion of Aloha, Moon

Xx_glad1on_xX: tell me whenever you need a break we have a spare room

malasadasfordays: :DD

championmoon: lillie don't betray me!! stay close to me!!

smolflower: Do not worry, Moon I'll always hear your heartbeat close to me!!

malasadasfordays: BUT IF YOU REALLY REALLY NEED A BREAK THERE ARE BRACELETS THAT LET YOU FEEL THE OTHERS HEARTBEAT WHEREVER YOU ARE

malasadasfordays: GLAD, WE SHOULD GET THEM 

Xx_glad1on_xX: god no

championmoon: what?? scared people will actually know what you're feeling under that stoic ass face???

Xx_glad1on_xX: thats exactly it

malasadasfordays: :3

smolflower: Why are you all like this just why

championmoon; BECAUSE U LUV ME

[smolflower left the group chat]


	2. wow you can put chapter titles what a blast also my gen 5 obsession pops up it was bound to happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha im actually updating correctly,,, and also to give you some insight because i think i completely forgot to mention that, hau and gladion live together and so do lillie and moon
> 
>  
> 
> enjoy!!

championmoon: ah, hello sunshine and hello another day as the champion!

Xx_glad1on_xX: why do you have to tell everyone at every occasion that you're the champion 

championmoon: lmao ur just salty because u cant do that

smolflower: Look Moon, you've literally written "Champion's room" on our shared room could you please not

malasadasfordays: HELLO EVERYONE 

malasadasfordays: HEY GLADION COULD YOU COME BACK TO BED ITS EARLY AND IM COLD 

championmoon: you two share a bed ??? ;)

smolflower: We share a bed too Moon what the fuck.

Xx_glad1on_xX: hau lemme finish my coffee for once please i cannot live without coffee in the morning 

Xx_glad1on_xX: ALSO LILLIE WHO TAUGHT YOU TO SWEAR WHAT IS THIS I AM NOT HAVING MY LITTLE SISTER SWEAR LIKE THIS

championmoon: says the guy who probably swear everytime something goes wrong 

championmoon: if we were in a PG-13 movie, all the swear words would be used up by you

Xx_glad1on_xX: fuck off, i do not swear that much 

smolflower: I'm starting to wonder if I'm destined to be surrounded by idiots?

malasadasfordays: YEP!! BUT THOSE IDIOTS ARE YOUR BFFS FOREVER 

championmoon: ok but gladion you just proved my point right

championmoon: also as a champion, that proves that I am NOT STUPID OK 

Xx_glad1on_xX: I don't think you've seen Unova's champions

malasadasfordays: WAIT WASNT IT THAT GUY WHO LOWKEY LOOKED LIKE A HOMELESS MAN 

smolflower: That's probably Alder

Xx_glad1on_xX: then there's Iris, basically Nyan Cat in human fucking form I swear to shit

championmoon: cats are cute tho

championmoon: but not cuter than lillie!!

smolflower: !! yay !!

malasadasfordays: OK BUT WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE UNOVAN ELITE FOUR

Xx_glad1on_xX: i was getting to that 

championmoon: i mean they can't be that bad like what do they have? someone who writes bad erotic novels ????

smolflower: They have exactly that

Xx_glad1on_xX: Shauntal probably has tried writing a weird Fifty Shades of Grey copy tbh 

championmoon: yknow what I don't even wanna know about the rest 

malasadasfordays: I DONT THINK YOU DO

smolflower: Also Hau, when are you and my brother coming to visit??

championmoon: come see us our children are excited to see you again

malasadasfordays: WHAT YOU DIDNT TELL US YOU HAVE KIDS NOW 

malasadasfordays: WAIT A SECOND THATS NOT BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE DID YOU ADOPT

Xx_glad1on_xX: Hau, by their children she meant their Pokemon 

malasadasfordays: OH

malasadasfordays: SO IS TECHNICALLY SILVALLY OUR KID

smolflower: If we follow my girlfriend's logic, yes

championmoon: We can even plan play dates now omg

Xx_glad1on_xX: yeah sure silvally can be our kid if we wanna follow moon's illogical logic 

Xx_glad1on_xX: ACTUALLY NO THAT THING IS GETTING DISOWNED

Xx_glad1on_xX: HGXSGAHSGGG

smolflower: Brother are you fine?!

championmoon: woah did he do some stupid thing like use an oujia board and now hes like cursed or smthing 

malasadasfordays: DONT WORRY SILVALLY JUST CHEWED ON HIS HAIR FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK AND THEN KINDA DID SOMETHING WITH MY BF'S PHONE THUS THE SECOND GARBLED MESSAGE 

Xx_glad1on_xX: i swear my hair isn't a chew toy ffs

championmoon: id pay actual money to see that happen 

smolflower: Me too

malasadasfordays: SAME

championmoon: hau you and gladion live in the same house you already see everything happen for free

championmoon: hey hau i have a question 

smolflower: Oh No.

malasadasfordays: YEAH??

championmoon: whats the sappiest pet name gladion's called you

Xx_glad1on_xX: NO

malasadasfordays: HIS SWEET MALASADA 

championmoon: BAHAHAHA 

smolflower: Sorry brother. I tried to warn everyone of the impending disaster. 

Xx_glad1on_xX: Goodbye, my pride and reputation. 

Xx_glad1on_xX: And hello, everlasting shame

[Xx_glad1on_xX left the chat]

malasadasfordays: D:

smolflower: I cannot believe that my brother would do such a petty thing; leave a group chat,

championmoon: ah, like brother, like sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i love gen 5 i swear I dont hate it its actually my ultimate bias
> 
>  
> 
> also hc that gladion is A HUGE SAP with hau but only with hau ; sappier things than that pet name have probably been said its just that malasada is priority for hau

**Author's Note:**

> rip moon she got fuckin rekt and rejected ,,,
> 
>  
> 
> anyways, you can hmu on tumblr or instagram, same username as here!!


End file.
